Itsy-bitsy Life

I weave a wonderful web for myself, drawing all the threads of my life together as one.I move freely around the web, tending to the different aspects of my world.

When I feel needy, insecure or unsure of myself my web becomes sticky, binding everything tightly. My web of attachments traps everything including myself, weighing down my world. One day the web I've spun could collapse under the strain. I engage in a healthy interaction with the world without becoming trapped. I free myself from attachment to many things:places,possessions, people, opinions;the way I like things done; the way things once were and the way they ought to be.

My freedom enables me to fill my world with LOVE. And today, I found him.

Thank you Allah for the wonderful gift. May it be a lasted happiness. Aminn.

Call me Olive and call him Popeye.

Ain't a Heroine

I'm not trying to change the world for you. I'm just trying to make it easier to live in, in case the train send you back.

The journey of life is always rocking. You, me and they... we will stumble too.

I'm not judging you.

I'm not trying to be your mother.
I'm not perfect either...
and never i claim to be.

The happiest of people just make the most of everything that comes their way.
Happiness lies for those who cry, those who hurt, those who have searched, and those who have tried; for only we can appreciate the importance of people who have touched our lives.

I'm not changing you.

I'm not trying to be your Heroine.
But i have ride the train in multiple directions.
You, me and they... We just don't want to live in regret.
For not sharing the train path and change the lane when truth met.

Apa Khabar?

I wish you could receive all the good thoughts I send your way...

If you could hear all the prayers I pray for you and the many times I ask Allah to protect you, you'd know how much I care. When I think of you, I always hope your life is just the way you want it, that you are looking forward to each day with a grateful, open heart, and that you are happy.


Hello~

Wakeup!

Something is wrong, perhaps I could restore your mind on the friendship we shared - the time we cared, the one who made it right, the one who was there for you on those cold nights…

I’m the one who held you when the world came down on you… and whose love never stops.

In case you forgot... I was there when you fell cause I care.

Remember, we all stumble, every one of us. That’s why it is a comfort to go hand in hand.

Let's Make Love

"This life is what you make it. Not matter what, you're going to mess up sometimes, it's a universal truth. But the good part is you get to decide how you're going to mess it up. Girls will be your friends - they'll act like it anyway. But just remember, some come, some go. The ones that stay with you through everything - they're your true best friends. Don't let go of them. Also remember, sisters make the best friends in the world. As for lovers, well, they'll come and go too. And babe, I hate to say it, most of them - actually pretty much all of them are going to break your heart, but you can't give up because if you give up, you'll never find your soul mate. You'll never find that half who makes you whole and that goes for everything. Just because you fail once, doesn't mean you're gonna fail at everything. Keep trying, hold on, and always, always, always believe in yourself, because if you don't, then who will, sweetie? So keep your head high, keep your chin up, and most importantly, keep smiling, because life's a beautiful thing and there's so much to smile about."

Marilyn Monroe

Tired of just giving.

Bee and Bunga

Yesterday was a day...


like any other day, alone again.

The unchanged gloomy way,

to pass the lane...

The day rest without me...


Out of the darkness someone else stroke my shadow,


He said: Hello...

lyanaazera@yellowkube
19022011

Congratulations to a beautiful couple, Fawwaz and Rifhan. Wishing you a wonderful journey as you build your new life together.

Home

If you would come back
We may perhaps begin it wonderfully again

If you would come back
It would be better, love regain

If you would come back home
We will be flying to the moon in the pink jet plane.

Call the carpenter.
Patch up the pieces.

And I will cook your favorite French Toast
Or make you coffee.

…if you.


Starbucks made me write.

Dreams

I realize change is expected.

I also understand without tough times, happy times wouldn’t be real.

I’m mature enough to recognize that, and wise enough to do my best to accept it. Although at times it gets the best of me, put a damper on me, and honestly worries me.

Lately I’ve had more than one situation that is hard to process, and the fate of tomorrow is vague. I have changes to arrive in my own life, and it’s a path I’ve not yet traveled.

But I do have dream. Wish for the future. It’s the strength in me that will keep on glittering even in the most flimsy and taxing times of life.

And with that, I’m able to take a deep breath and continue on.

We all have our own life to pursue, our own kind of dream. And we all have some power to make wishes come true, as long as we keep believing. It is the law of attraction.

We should never negotiate our dreams. We should never agree to surrender our dreams. No person has the right to rain on our dreams.

But what we should always remember, family is where we find hope, where wings take dream.

One step at a time.

R.I.P: A Memory Lasts Forever.

11:30 am, 13th January, 2011 a date that I will never forget. The pain grows, and it just gets stronger.

The phone call. My emotion changed and tears dropped. The angel closes his eyes into an eternal sleep.

4 days has passed without him by my side.

As I write these words I think about all the memories. You were always so strong! We were together through all the ups and downs. We stick together when we were happy or sad and you protected me from hurt and disgrace. I’m so grateful.

As childhood friends, eternally brother-sister I thought we'd be, but something struck and now you left.

Emptiness saddens me every day and night. It hurts me so badly and every morning I woke up and wish you could come back or maybe it is just a bad dream.

A piece of my life is what I now lack, dearest best friend, I miss you so much.

I’ll remember the last good bye. There were tears flooding in every eye.

You'll be in our heart and you'll never go, I'll love you forever Alif, I just hope you know.



For some life lasts a short while, but the memories it holds last forever. Al-Fatihah to Alif Abu Bakar Wahab,

15217 kilometers

Distance is not for the fearful. It is for the bold. It is for those who are willing to spend a lot of time alone in exchange for a little time with the one they love. It is for those knowing a good thing when they see it, even if they don't see it nearly enough.

Love isn’t love if you’re not willing to sacrifice something for it. It may be as big as giving up all of those you own like job and wealth in exchange for a simple life with the one that you love, or something as small as giving 5 minutes of your time even if you’re very busy just to talk to your special someone.

Love is a journey that two people go through, and in each journey there are difficulties and risks that require sacrifices...


Only a life lived for others is worth living.

A Lesson Learnt

Well 2010 is about to come to a close and we'll be welcoming in 2011, the new year.

As we slowly approach the end of another year, there is once again a visible feeling of expectation and excitement for what the upcoming year will bring. The start of a new year often stirs a sense of hopefulness that better times and new opportunities for improvement are just around the corner.

While everybody use the end of the year planning for what they need to achieve in 2011, I guess it’s equally important for us not lose sight of the lessons learned over the past twelve months-the Blacks and Whites, Ups and Downs, Successes and Failures.

Mine? It would be a long roll of lessons... bunches!

1. I learned that if we work hard, we will get far.

2. I learned that they are many people expect ‘free meals’ along the way without doing anything.

3. I learned that most often people don't say what they actually think but they say what they think the others want to hear.

4. I learned that relationship across the miles is HARD! So long as the person we are keeping the relationship with is worth it, YES it’s going to work.

5. I learned that everyone may hear what we say and friends will listen to what we say. To see who our best friends are, they are those who listen to what you don't say, they just understand us and know there's something wrong even when we have the biggest smile on our face. I thank God, I see true friends along the year.

6. I learned that we should not trust anyone but ourselves and that it is really hard to build up trust. But only in seconds everything can be shattered.

7. I learned it is natural to stop having chemistry with a certain person, and if we grow apart, just be happy for the good times, and know how lucky we were to have that great person part in our life.

8. I learned that men hate it when we talk about our ex-boyfriend.

9. I learned that men love women with brains more than those in miniskirts. But they like feminity.

10. I learned that I may still fall for bullshit. But I won’t be crying about it.

11. I learned certain men tend to get serious with their relationship and become TOO possessive. So watch out as certain guys don't comprehend the statement "Get lost" too well.

12. I learned men can make gossips scatter through half of the face of the earth faster than women can.

13. I learned that it's not easy for a man to let go of his girlfriend after they broke up especially when they've been together for 3 years or more.

14. I learned to send ‘thank you’ notes - to thank everyone for their good deeds.

15. I learned not to procrastinate. We usually tend to procrastinate with the most difficult tasks until the last moment. The truth about those tasks is that most of the time they are not as bad as they seem.

16. I learned that only if our bodies and minds are both located in the same place at the same time, and we are fully present, we will find the true happiness we seek. Worrying about the future and chewing on ‘old bones’ from the past have little value to offer to us.

17. I learned not to push things hard, if it’s meant to be, it'll happen. I won’t screw up the best thing that ever happened to me anymore just because I’m little unsure about what I really want.

18. I learned that family is regardless the most important thing in my life. Sadly, like the diet, we have every intention to start living healthy but we just don't get around to it. I learned that we should grab the moment now, savor our time with parents and family, and not wait. Friends come and go, but family is forever.

19. I learned to be wide awake of the office politics.

20. I learned on how to deal with frenemies. (Just don’t be too close to them!)

21. I learned that giving to charity should be part of our life.

22. I learned that if you can’t get past the third chapter of a book, just dump it. Similarly, if you can’t stand a movie after the third scene… just stop!

23. I learned that sometimes we just need a day where we can hide in our room to make things better and at times we just need a super fun song like We Speak No Americano by Yolanda to dance like nobody’s business.

24. I learned the best and cheapest way to feel happy is by being close to God.

25. I learned that the word "OK" looks like a stick person tilting the head to the left! Ha-ha

One lengthy roll. There are many more things that I have learned in my Learning Year of 2010. But i think i should stop.

Oh 2011, give me more lessons. I’m learning all the time.


Congratulation to Malaysia Football team on the last night's triumph. Is Malaysia back on the Asian footballing map?

Blindfold

None of the colours, seem to speak the truth
None of the colours, could give me just one clue
None of the colours, could paint a perfect tune

Could i say sorry?

Through shades of words i sing
Could you forgive me? and all the fears i bring...

Look at this closely, past of all that you can see,
tell me there's a place, always a space for me.

Cry, if you have to, but make it sure that the tears will wash away all the bitterness...

Leaving?

Have you ever just scribbled on a paper, day dreaming, while drawing his name...
You'd be thinking about him all day, but spending one day without him just wouldn't be the same.

Have you ever spent the whole day with him, but at the end it felt like the time just passed you by...
It's like your time was up but you didn't wanna let him go because you weren't ready to say goodbye.

Have you ever just missed him like crazy, and at times it was like you never really knew what to do...
You'd try and do just about anything to spend time with him especially when you know that he will soon be far from you...

Good night.


Searching for Scrabble mate.

It is a real joy to:LEARN

Do not say, “It is morning,” and dismiss it with a name of yesterday. See it for the first time as a new-born child that has no name"
from Rabrindranath Tagore’s Stray Birds

We are all wanderers. It is so simple and so clear that I sometimes feel that our minds are fogged up with complexities that blind us. I look for bliss in things of beauty, sometimes in retail therapy, sometimes in my work, and sometimes in a friendship with a new friend.

All very different depictions of magnificence and beauty, but which serve to open my eyes and heart.

But as Tagore put it, "For the first time as a newborn child that has no name" and speak of things as we would like them to be, perhaps we would view our lives as rising toward amazing chapter or losing ground and moving back to an end. I don’t know….

Well, the best does not come alone. It comes with the companionship of the all… So allow me to believe that if there is one among those stars that guides my life through the unknown.


I have become my own version of an optimist. If I can’t make it through one door, I’ll go through another door OR I’ll make a door. ;)

Hating The Thing I LOVE Most

Ok, it may be a bit theatrical title, but that is the fact. I love being intense, and I put great meaning into all and relentlessly searching for meaning in my life.

But every so often I might be too intense and exploring for the meaning to a great extent that I might let pass living.

I suppose at times I just need to be free like the white dove. Just ‘get over it’ or trying to make cheese from the milk. Alleviate the pins and needles and just live life.


Happy New Year Dearest Blog.

Connection of Belief

Been thinking about the connection of faith and emotion of late. I started thinking about emotion yet again, following this little disconcerting experience last year where my hidden emotional abilities seemed to be much more conscious than my supposedly rational thinking abilities.

Emotional reactions are a kind of sixth sense.

Faith might be a sort of emotion but on the other it describes the very state of acceptance or belief in that which we feel.

We don’t question whether the feeling exists or not, or from where it sprung, we believe in it, we experience it, we know that it is bona fide, that it exists, that it signifies something sincere, honest and true.

Saya sahaja yang tahu.

Amazing thing is that some instinctual part of us *felt* something way way before the conscious mind had even a hint of a slip of an illusion of what was approaching.


Believe that a Tortoise can walk fast and a Butterfly may loose its wings.

Happy Pills

I’m really fried, but in a good way.

Life is just really full — and with things I love to do, so I’m not complaining.
I’m preaching on happiness in December and as I was taking my shower tonight I hit on my own personal definition of happiness:

Happiness means never having the thought, “Why am I doing this with my life? Why did I make this choice? If I had this all to do over again, I would have chosen so differently.”

That’s the heart of Eudaimonic happiness, a concept that interests me very much. Eudaimonic happiness isn’t about pleasure or “up” feelings, it is about doing what you feel you were meant to do, and being who you were meant to be.

It’s the only definition of happiness that has ever made sense to me, and having discovered it makes me very, well… happy!

So, angsty people who feel misunderstood by loved ones who frequently question your intensity and exhort you to just “be happy, already,” tell them what yanna.lyana told you: you are happy, it’s just a different kind of happiness than the one they would have you seek.


Elle and her Clinique Happy is inseparable (?) ha-ha

Manic Monday? Not anymore..

Dragging yourself to work everyday? But not anymore when you know that you'll be back home everyday this way! After all, this is what we are looking for everyday anyway right? Punching out and going back. :D


I have a thrilled roller coaster life.

Tunggu Dan Tunggu

Untuk kamu yang sedang menunggu,

Saya juga pernah menunggu seperti kamu. Saya juga pernah merasa putus asa ketika menunggu. Kerana menunggu sesuatu yang tidak pasti. Sangat memenatkan. Sangat menyakitkan. Kamu bermain teka teki dengan hati. Tetapi, antara fikiran dan hati. Yang mana satu selalu menang? Kamu tahu jawapannya.

Fikiran kata, pergi. Hati kata, nanti. Akhirnya kamu masih begitu. Menunggu dan terus menunggu. Dahulu, seseorang pernah bertanya. Saya tak penatkah menunggu. Saya memang penat. Saya rasa sakit. Saya terguris. Saya menangis. Ada sesuatu yang menyuruh saya terus menunggu. Satu semangat yang sukar untuk dijelaskan. Tiada apa yang masih terus, kalau hati kamu kata…Berhenti. Cukuplah segalanya sampai di sini.

Kalau kamu masih mahu menunggu. Teruskan menunggu. Cuma jangan terlalu lama. Kerana, ketika kita menunggu. Banyak perkara yang sedang berlari meninggalkan kita.

Tamatkanlah segala teka teki. Pastikan isi hati.


Cuma menunggu miracle

Life, It's Fair

Life… it is a journey of searching, looking for something that we want in our life. What we desire and aspire. And for what ever it may be, in the end, it is happiness that we are seeking for.

Happiness varies and it may come in many forms, and it can only be interpreted by oneself. What we want and what makes us really happy.

Have you ever feel unsure of our own choice and feeling insecure of your own decision? I admit, I do, and I believe everybody does. That is when we are having doubt of our decision as we are unsure whether it is the right move or not. I suppose, as a human, we will never feel satisfied of what we had. When God gives us Bronze, we wish that we could have Silver, when he gave us Silver, we wanted to have Gold... and it is infinite.

I learn with sureness and belief, don’t ever run for someone you think that you love and leave someone that really loves you behind. As people that you think that you love will meet someone that they really love and when you are turning back to the one that really loves you, they are no more there. So don’t ever neglected and uncared for someone that really loves you. Appreciate their presence as much as you can, or it will be too late

It is in some way right even though most of us are in denial of the truth.

We just can’t judge the love by physical attraction or materially as what is important is what is deep inside… the heart. Since heart is nearer to what we called LOVE, a true love. And only with heart it will give us the happiness and tranquility.

Our heart won’t tell us lie even though most of the time, we will tend to follow what we perceive than what we feel. But that just can’t deny the truth, what we feel and what is deep inside our heart.

I’m strongly believed that our choice is not always the perfect decision as we tend to follow our emotion, an emotion without sensible judgment. In the end, what we really want and what we really needed differs and leaving us with uncertainty.

Love is about happiness, happiness is about heart. We can’t blame anybody with the wrong choice that we have made. Maybe we have lost in our own choice because we are so busy formatting the steps to the mountain of happiness but we have to keep building the steps, just don’t stop! And for now, we have to build it with a better and proper judgment as past has gave us a good life lesson.

“Ijazah yang terbaik datangnya dari jalanan” hehe

Now, let’s find the best choice or at least, making sure it is the correct decision. For what ever choice that we made, make sure that it comes form the heart. As I told, heart won’t tell us lies. And life of sorrow can always be stopped with a better judgment. Always believe that whenever there is a start, there‘s always the end.

Life’s greatest happiness is to convinced we are loved.


Redha and ready